1 H4V3 MY W4YS, MR V4NT4S
by Lizzie The Mongoose
Summary: A small comment from John is taken a bit too seriously. Rating for implied themes.


_**So I've decided to get back into the vibe of writing after a few months of improvement and a lot of migrating into new fandoms. Homestuck is one of the major ones, and KarkatxTerezi is my favorite pairing for the trolls. Expect more of this.**_

_**Also, if you're easily triggered by the idea of self-harm, even if it's hinted, this is your warning.**_

Karkat Vantas was screwed.

Completely and utterly screwed.

He sat in the lab, staring at eight simple words on the screen of his husktop.

_EB: haha, man, you're totally in love with her._

In…love?

Was that a thing that was even possible for trolls?

He answered anyway, not wanting to let this remark go unpunished.

_CG: JOHN, I AM *NOT* IN LOVE WITH TEREZI. THAT ISN'T EVEN POSSIBLE FOR US._

_EB: right, i forgot you guys are aliens who don't understand the concept of HUMAN AFFECTION._

_EB: besides, you took a long time to answer. you've got it bad._

_CG: I AM NOT GOING TO DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU._

_EB: hey, you were the one who drew shipping charts for me and my friends telling us who to repopulate with._

_CG: YOU'RE NOT AT LIBERTY TO DO SOMETHING EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO THAT._

He heard someone coming up behind him and closed the conversation hurriedly. He turned and saw - who else - Terezi Pyrope staring him in the face. Or, at least, she would be staring at him if she could see.

"Who was that? One of the humans?" she asked, an innocence to her tone that he saw through in an instant.

"Yeah. John. What of it?"

She laughed softly. "The topic of your conversation must have been an interesting one. Your face is flushed. I can smell it." She completed this statement with a wide grin, exposing her pointed teeth.

He was caught red-handed. Well, technically, red-faced.

He cursed under his breath and turned his back on her, pretending to be interested in a speck of dust on the corner of his screen. He could feel her breath on the back of his neck as she leaned in closer. He could hear her sniffing at him, trying to detect the faintest hint of the "BR1GHT CH3RRY COUGH SYRUP" that had rushed to his face.

This was a very bad situation.

"Terezi, back off," he hissed. "Someone might come in."

"Everyone's asleep," she murmured, one of her slender hands coming to rest on his shoulder and causing him to jump. "You have plenty of time to tell me what's really going on with you."

"Well, you're going to have to wait a while for that. I'm not going to tell you anything."

She laughed again, this time even quieter and more breathy. Not a good sign.

"Oh, Karkat," she whispered, her face dangerously close to his cheek. "I have ways of making you talk."

Bad. So bad. Abort, abort-

But of course, it was too late. He cringed as he felt her tongue slide over his cheek, leaving a cool trail behind that quickly faded against the heat of his even more flushed face. She cackled at this reaction, but then responded with something even more shocking. She brought her hand over to caress the side of his face, turning towards her and placing a single kiss on his lips.

He was confused.

He was terrified.

But mostly, he was resisting back the far-too-powerful urge to kiss back.

She could tell, and she was teasing him. She turned him around in his chair, moving to sit on his lap, far, _far_ too close to him, her lips brushing against his as her other hand traced up the back of his neck.

He failed to resist the urge. Also, giving in was normally best option in a situation like this.

He tentatively brought one of his own hands up to rest on her waist as he allowed his eyes to close, and he felt her smiling into the kiss as she leaned in even closer.

He knew that this was only going to go from bad to worse, but how bad could that really be?

Very, very, _very_ bad.

A few minutes of this later, and it was almost as if he couldn't hold her tight enough. He needed her, and she needed him. It was painfully obvious where this was headed, but neither of them knew how quickly the entire event would come to a shattering halt.

She made a small purring sound from the back of her throat, one arm wrapped tightly around his neck like a lifeline while the other slid under his shirt. He didn't think to protest, and soon the garment had fallen on the cool tile floor of the laboratory. She moved to place kisses on his jaw, down the side of his neck, over his collarbone, but then she suddenly stopped.

"Kar…what's that?" she breathed.

He opened his eyes and looked in the direction that she was.

His stomach dropped like a stone, and he was very grateful that she couldn't quite see what she was asking about.

"Shit," he swore, all but leaping out of the chair and diving for his shirt, pulling it back on hurriedly.

"What is it?" she asked again, taking a step towards him. "That part of your arm. It smelled different from the rest. What is it?"

"Uh…I…it was…" he stammered, looking from her, to the door, to his arm, and then back to her again.

Bad. Awful. Horrible situation. And there was no getting out.

He gave a resigned sigh and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt, allowing her to come see - or rather, smell - for herself.

She tentatively moved closer, sniffing at the air around his extended forearm. Suddenly, she pulled back, her teeth bared as she looked unseeing daggers at him.

"Please tell me. That that's not. What I think it is."

He looked down at her, maybe a bit too coldly.

"Why? What does it smell like?"

She paused, and when she spoke, the words slithered out of her mouth like a vile creature with a forked tongue and no limbs.

"The word 'mutant.' On your arm."

He tugged his sleeve back down to his wrist and sat in his chair again, the moment officially killed.

"Don't preach to me," he muttered. "That's been there for sweeps."

"But still," she said, surprisingly calmly as she sat on the desk in front of him. "You did it. I knew you were angry, I just…didn't know you were that angry. At yourself."

He opened his mouth to answer, but then his husktop beeped loudly and they both jumped.

_EB: are you still there?_

_EB: you cut me off._

_EB: *narrows eyes*_

_EB: is SHE there with you? because if she is, i totally get why you blew me off._

Karkat scowled at the screen, and Terezi smirked.

"I'll leave you to that, then," he said simply, getting up and moving towards the door. "But don't think that you're in the clear yet. We are going to talk about…that."

He sighed and nodded, turning to his husktop to chew Egbert out and tell him he was not in any sort of mood for his crap today.

Terezi smiled sadly at him as she left the room.

This wasn't attraction. Not entirely. This was pity.

In truth, they did love each other. But it wasn't their kind of love. It wasn't quite matespritship. Or even moirailigence.

This was much closer to human love. What they perceived of it.

And it was going to hurt a hell of a lot more.


End file.
